Posted in Friendship, Human Tendency, Life, Love, Relationship, Religion

Is there any reason that can stop friends to meet?

One feels highly obligated when on a short notice people turn up just to meet you and that too after commuting long distance “on a laid back Saturday evening”. That is what exactly happened, on the eve of Saturday, 8th October 2016, when my friends cared enough to meet me, in spite of them having some very genuine reasons to say ‘No’ and skip this unplanned meeting. Even reasons like severe neck pain, kid’s exam and most importantly tiresome long distances to be travelled by using different modes of transport “on jam-packed streets/bogies of a metro city”, could not come between our get together. Hell, I myself can’t even imagine doing it (You know, I am selfish). But, somehow this overwhelming act of theirs left me thinking that is there any reason that can stop friends to meet? Shouldn’t all relations be like that?

What more one needs to feel special about than to have such friends whom even though we might not have interacted since a very long time (forget about meeting them), yet they care to turn up for a meeting that is scheduled at the very last moment on some “shocking” phone calls? This is what friendship teaches us i.e. not to grow distances in our heart, in spite of the physical distances and the time lags between us, our meets and our interactions. Most of the times, we all have enough reasons to say a No, but at times what matters is just a Yes. Isn’t this true for a healthy bond in every relation?

If we look the other way round, then we will realize that there are a number of reasons to keep aside our differences and build our relationship stronger, with every passing day. “Friendship stands for growing up, keeping all our reasons aside and letting each other know that we are always there”. Shouldn’t this be the main ingredient for every successful relation? When one really intends to build a strong bond in any relationship, then they will go to the extreme and no reason could ever stop them from trying their level best to keep that relationship intact. Keeping aside our reasons (if possible) and doing that extra bit in any relationship makes a lot of difference.

In the same way, irrespective of our reasons, when we want to meet someone, we will surely find a way out to do that. For me, on last Saturday, there were a number of reasons to meet good hearted people like extracting past memories, forcefully making the partners in crime remember that they were involved in some foolish yet funny acts (which s/he pretends not to remember anymore), pulling legs (both hairy and waxed), laughing crazily till the stomach hurts, and, last but not the least, gossiping about ‘girls’ (obviously how can we skip the most interesting topic). All in all, just to spend quality time.

As it is said that the best gift one can give in this era is their precious time. Well, frankly there was no reason to pen down the last line and it was forcefully inserted from my end, just to give a hint to all those who expects a gift, when a miser person like me meets them (although my time is not that precious, still…). Well, jokes apart, I am highly indebted to all my friends who make me feel special sometime or the other, in some way or the other. Thanks for spending your precious and quality time with me.

At last, I would like to say that let’s all of us aspire to seed friendship in each and every relationship of ours. This is my humble request to each one of you that don’t betray your friends ever and always keep the trust and faith of friendship alive in your hearts.

Be in touch.

God bless you all!!!

Peyush Jain

Posted in Divorce, Forgiveness, Hope, Human Tendency, Life, Love, Marriage, Motivation, Relationship, Unity

Divorce – A permanent dissolution of any relationship

As per the dictionary meaning, ‘Divorce’ means – the legal dissolution of a marriage (Reference: Word Web). Although, divorce is commonly associated with the dissolution of a marriage, while in literal terms, divorce means to part away, cease or break association with someone. So, if we consider divorce on a larger perspective then we can very well say that “Divorce stands for permanent dissolution of any relationship”. In simple terms, whenever any relation ceases to exist ‘permanently’ then it’s a divorce, irrespective of the name of the relation, or irrespective of any legal bounding associated with it or not. Note: Divorce in this blog refers to the cessation of any kind of relation and not marriage alone.

If we notice around us, then we will find that divorce takes place, every now and then, in almost all the relationships to name with, be it a parent-child, husband-wife, siblings, friends, relatives, neighbours, owner-pet, employee-organisation and the list goes, on and on. Even though we as a society, has attached the tag of divorce only with the marriage, but the hard-core reality is that divorce takes place in every kind of relationship.

Yes, none of the relation is unaffected by the virus of divorce. Why I address divorce as a virus is because there is a peculiar thing associated with it. As mentioned in the definition above Divorce is a Permanent Dissolution of any relationship. So, once the divorce is taken in any relation, there is hardly any chance left to get back into that particular relationship, once again in future. It’s equivalent to a situation where all the entry doors get closed and there is no looking back, post-exit.

I do agree that at times divorce is the necessity and the only remedy left when some of the relations reach to a severe point, where it is suffocating for both the parties involved to carry on any further. If a relation becomes a hindrance to our happiness or God forbid a threat to our life, then it is highly advisable and wise enough to walk out of that relationship. There is seriously no point in stretching such relations, just for the sake of carrying it on. However, we should remember it that divorce should always be the last option in our list and the decision to permanently walk out of any relationship should never be an impulsive one, rather it should be taken only with a peaceful mind, considering that no other way out is feasible anymore.

Most of us do take temporary breaks in our relationships when we kind of find it hard to match our wavelength with the other person involved in that relation. But, that is “only for the time being” till we are able to tune our frequencies back on the same radar, or else, we agree to disagree on our differences. But, as far as, divorce is concerned, it’s a permanent break and it may so happen that throughout their life span the divorced souls will never ever get a chance to see each other again, forget about communicating with each other. Sounds harsh, right? Well, yes, divorce (most of the times) is like that only, and, as a matter of fact, it’s indeed too painful to get out of any relationship.

Although not all divorces results in a “not being in touch henceforth” type of a relation, because we also witness cases around us, wherein people parts away with mutual consent and still remain in touch, with no hard feelings for each other in their hearts. I strongly advocate that, if at all, it is essential to take divorce from any relation then it should be in this manner only, which could be categorised as kind of “Happy Divorce”. But unfortunately, such cases are meagre in number.

Guys, it’s my earnest request that if there is even a slight hope left to bring the relationship back on the right track, then do keep your ego aside, and try once again, wholeheartedly, to save that beautiful relationship, before it gets into the plague of divorce. I wish that all of you have abundant happiness and strong bonds in each and every relationship of yours.

God bless you all.

Be in touch!

Peyush Jain

Posted in Belief, Brave, Courage, Equality, Forgiveness, Happiness, Human Tendency, Humanist, Jainism, Life, Love, Peace, Personality, Relationship, Religion, Tradition

Kshamavani (Forgiveness) Day – A day to seek forgiveness and forgive

In our day to day life, each one of us may get hurt, as well as, knowingly or unknowingly, may hurt others by any of our acts. However, out of our ego, we don’t tend to forgive others, forget about seeking forgiveness from others. No doubt it takes a lot of courage to seek forgiveness or for that matter to forgive others. As such, it is rightly said that “Kshama Virasya Bhushanam”, which means “Forgiveness adorns the Brave”.

On the occasion of Samvatsari (the last day of Paryushana – a Jain festival) and Kshamavani (Forgiveness) Day, there is a custom in the Jain religion, wherein with folded hands, the Jain followers seek forgiveness from every single soul who felt bad or got hurt, knowingly or unknowingly, due to any of their actions/deeds/words, etcetera. They seek forgiveness by saying Micchami Dukkadam to all the living beings. Micchami Dukkadam is a Prakrit phrase, wherein Micchami means to be fruitless (forgiven) and Dukkadam (Dushkrut) means bad deeds.  Micchami Dukkadam means ‘to be forgiven’ or ‘may all the evil that has been done be forgiven’.

What could be more beautiful than to make forgiveness a part of our life? Just imagine if there are no grudges in anyone’s heart then how beautiful this world will be, to live in. Behind almost all the evils happening around us, there is somewhere an element of a lack of forgiveness in the heart of those involved in such acts. We, the living beings, spent our entire life carrying a lot of grudges against others. But do we even realize that all these grudges are somewhere or the other responsible for all the unhappiness that surrounds us? Give it a thought, that how much lighter we will feel if we get away with all those grudges that occupy the majority of our memory space. To achieve such a state all that is required is just an “attitude of forgiveness”. Isn’t it worth giving a try at least?

I would like to quote here a recent example which depicts what greatness is all about and, at the same time, how those who claim to be the “contractors of religion”, provoke others “in the name of religion” to get involved in things that are specifically barred by the religion. In a recent controversy, some celebrity/politician defamed and tweeted ill against a renowned Jain Saint. On the one hand, the renowned Jain Saint showed his greatness by forgiving, “on his own”, the people behind those crap thoughts, who tried to throw garbage on him. While, on the other hand, one of the contractors of religion was heard stating that it will be cowardice on the part of the entire Jain community if they forgive such acts, as well as, the person who spoke ill against the Jain Saint.

Hats off to all those people who preach such kind of provoking thoughts and still claim themselves to be a preacher of Jainism! No, I am not advocating here with about tolerating nuisances, at all. What I mean to say is that isn’t it enough to peacefully protest and register our complaints against the culprits, in all such cases, and wait for the law enforcement agencies to take necessary actions against them, rather than provoking the innocent masses to unnecessarily get aggressive? Any stupid action in such cases not only shifts the focus from the main issue, but it also defames the religion at large, just because of such provoking statements made by a few persons, who fail to think about the repercussions of their statements.

I do hope that the advocates of non-forgiveness and for that matter banning things do know that Lord Mahaveera never forced anyone to follow the path or the preaching of Jainism. Do remember that Jainism is all about Non-Violence and Forgiveness. Jainism is not about forcing one’s thoughts on others. Jainism is more than a religion, it’s a thought that evoked and developed over time through introspection and learning. Hearts can be won by requesting and enlightening but not by force.

At last, with folded hands, I seek forgiveness from every single soul who felt bad or got hurt, knowingly or unknowingly, due to any of my actions/deeds/words, etcetera. I would like to end this blog with the very thought that let’s forget all the bad memories and start a new relationship.

Micchami Dukkadam!

Jai Jinendra!

Peyush Jain