Posted in Divorce, Forgiveness, Hope, Human Tendency, Life, Love, Marriage, Motivation, Relationship, Unity

Divorce – A permanent dissolution of any relationship

As per the dictionary meaning, ‘Divorce’ means – the legal dissolution of a marriage (Reference: Word Web). Although, divorce is commonly associated with the dissolution of a marriage, while in literal terms, divorce means to part away, cease or break association with someone. So, if we consider divorce on a larger perspective then we can very well say that “Divorce stands for permanent dissolution of any relationship”. In simple terms, whenever any relation ceases to exist ‘permanently’ then it’s a divorce, irrespective of the name of the relation, or irrespective of any legal bounding associated with it or not. Note: Divorce in this blog refers to the cessation of any kind of relation and not marriage alone.

If we notice around us, then we will find that divorce takes place, every now and then, in almost all the relationships to name with, be it a parent-child, husband-wife, siblings, friends, relatives, neighbours, owner-pet, employee-organisation and the list goes, on and on. Even though we as a society, has attached the tag of divorce only with the marriage, but the hard-core reality is that divorce takes place in every kind of relationship.

Yes, none of the relation is unaffected by the virus of divorce. Why I address divorce as a virus is because there is a peculiar thing associated with it. As mentioned in the definition above Divorce is a Permanent Dissolution of any relationship. So, once the divorce is taken in any relation, there is hardly any chance left to get back into that particular relationship, once again in future. It’s equivalent to a situation where all the entry doors get closed and there is no looking back, post-exit.

I do agree that at times divorce is the necessity and the only remedy left when some of the relations reach to a severe point, where it is suffocating for both the parties involved to carry on any further. If a relation becomes a hindrance to our happiness or God forbid a threat to our life, then it is highly advisable and wise enough to walk out of that relationship. There is seriously no point in stretching such relations, just for the sake of carrying it on. However, we should remember it that divorce should always be the last option in our list and the decision to permanently walk out of any relationship should never be an impulsive one, rather it should be taken only with a peaceful mind, considering that no other way out is feasible anymore.

Most of us do take temporary breaks in our relationships when we kind of find it hard to match our wavelength with the other person involved in that relation. But, that is “only for the time being” till we are able to tune our frequencies back on the same radar, or else, we agree to disagree on our differences. But, as far as, divorce is concerned, it’s a permanent break and it may so happen that throughout their life span the divorced souls will never ever get a chance to see each other again, forget about communicating with each other. Sounds harsh, right? Well, yes, divorce (most of the times) is like that only, and, as a matter of fact, it’s indeed too painful to get out of any relationship.

Although not all divorces results in a “not being in touch henceforth” type of a relation, because we also witness cases around us, wherein people parts away with mutual consent and still remain in touch, with no hard feelings for each other in their hearts. I strongly advocate that, if at all, it is essential to take divorce from any relation then it should be in this manner only, which could be categorised as kind of “Happy Divorce”. But unfortunately, such cases are meagre in number.

Guys, it’s my earnest request that if there is even a slight hope left to bring the relationship back on the right track, then do keep your ego aside, and try once again, wholeheartedly, to save that beautiful relationship, before it gets into the plague of divorce. I wish that all of you have abundant happiness and strong bonds in each and every relationship of yours.

God bless you all.

Be in touch!

Peyush Jain

Posted in Belief, Brave, Courage, Equality, Forgiveness, Happiness, Human Tendency, Humanist, Jainism, Life, Love, Peace, Personality, Relationship, Religion, Tradition

Kshamavani (Forgiveness) Day – A day to seek forgiveness and forgive

In our day to day life, each one of us may get hurt, as well as, knowingly or unknowingly, may hurt others by any of our acts. However, out of our ego, we don’t tend to forgive others, forget about seeking forgiveness from others. No doubt it takes a lot of courage to seek forgiveness or for that matter to forgive others. As such, it is rightly said that “Kshama Virasya Bhushanam”, which means “Forgiveness adorns the Brave”.

On the occasion of Samvatsari (the last day of Paryushana – a Jain festival) and Kshamavani (Forgiveness) Day, there is a custom in the Jain religion, wherein with folded hands, the Jain followers seek forgiveness from every single soul who felt bad or got hurt, knowingly or unknowingly, due to any of their actions/deeds/words, etcetera. They seek forgiveness by saying Micchami Dukkadam to all the living beings. Micchami Dukkadam is a Prakrit phrase, wherein Micchami means to be fruitless (forgiven) and Dukkadam (Dushkrut) means bad deeds.  Micchami Dukkadam means ‘to be forgiven’ or ‘may all the evil that has been done be forgiven’.

What could be more beautiful than to make forgiveness a part of our life? Just imagine if there are no grudges in anyone’s heart then how beautiful this world will be, to live in. Behind almost all the evils happening around us, there is somewhere an element of a lack of forgiveness in the heart of those involved in such acts. We, the living beings, spent our entire life carrying a lot of grudges against others. But do we even realize that all these grudges are somewhere or the other responsible for all the unhappiness that surrounds us? Give it a thought, that how much lighter we will feel if we get away with all those grudges that occupy the majority of our memory space. To achieve such a state all that is required is just an “attitude of forgiveness”. Isn’t it worth giving a try at least?

I would like to quote here a recent example which depicts what greatness is all about and, at the same time, how those who claim to be the “contractors of religion”, provoke others “in the name of religion” to get involved in things that are specifically barred by the religion. In a recent controversy, some celebrity/politician defamed and tweeted ill against a renowned Jain Saint. On the one hand, the renowned Jain Saint showed his greatness by forgiving, “on his own”, the people behind those crap thoughts, who tried to throw garbage on him. While, on the other hand, one of the contractors of religion was heard stating that it will be cowardice on the part of the entire Jain community if they forgive such acts, as well as, the person who spoke ill against the Jain Saint.

Hats off to all those people who preach such kind of provoking thoughts and still claim themselves to be a preacher of Jainism! No, I am not advocating here with about tolerating nuisances, at all. What I mean to say is that isn’t it enough to peacefully protest and register our complaints against the culprits, in all such cases, and wait for the law enforcement agencies to take necessary actions against them, rather than provoking the innocent masses to unnecessarily get aggressive? Any stupid action in such cases not only shifts the focus from the main issue, but it also defames the religion at large, just because of such provoking statements made by a few persons, who fail to think about the repercussions of their statements.

I do hope that the advocates of non-forgiveness and for that matter banning things do know that Lord Mahaveera never forced anyone to follow the path or the preaching of Jainism. Do remember that Jainism is all about Non-Violence and Forgiveness. Jainism is not about forcing one’s thoughts on others. Jainism is more than a religion, it’s a thought that evoked and developed over time through introspection and learning. Hearts can be won by requesting and enlightening but not by force.

At last, with folded hands, I seek forgiveness from every single soul who felt bad or got hurt, knowingly or unknowingly, due to any of my actions/deeds/words, etcetera. I would like to end this blog with the very thought that let’s forget all the bad memories and start a new relationship.

Micchami Dukkadam!

Jai Jinendra!

Peyush Jain

Posted in Forgiveness, Friendship, Human Tendency, Life, Love, Relationship

Are the grapes really sour?

Are the grapes really sour? Well, if we look around and analyse our own conduct, we will certainly realize that most of the time when we could not catch hold of something, be it our dream, our job, our relationship etcetera, we try really hard to prove that the “Grapes are really sour”. But, is it the right attitude and the right way of dealing with anything that did not go as per our liking? Can’t we accept the outcome with dignity and let go things that are actually not in our control?

To understand this in a better way, let us observe our reactions, our feelings, our thoughts in two typical situations which we encounter in our life. First, when we are into a relationship and Second when we are out of that relationship. Did you ever notice that our thoughts drastically change when we move from the first situation into the second situation? The person who was once an important part of our life, whose mistakes we found funny and were happy in ignoring them, whose ignorance we were considering as cuteness, whose presence meant the world to us and a lot many of such things suddenly got changed, as and when we were out of that relationship.

When we are no more into that relationship, we find the other person as the rudest living being present on earth, someone who is the most careless soul we ever came across, somebody who is heartless, irritating etcetera. To sum up, all the acts of such person seems to be wrong, as soon as, the person is no more a part of our life. But, wait for a second and just think that are those thoughts for the same person, who was once the reason behind that beautiful smile which adorns your face?

Similarly, we tend to criticize each and everything that did not happen as per our willingness. Suppose, if we are not able to perform well, then we start finding fault in others. Haven’t we all pointed fingers, at some point in time, towards our supervisor, colleague, parents, siblings, better half etcetera? However, we forget to introspect what went wrong at our end. Do remember that it’s our life and we are solely responsible for everything that happens with us.

So what if we could not get what we wanted to achieve? So what if we could not perform as per the expectations? We should be contented with the fact that we tried our best and if we are committed to trying harder in future then that’s all actually matters in life. “Try your best and leave the rest” should be the motto of life. As beautifully written by Mr. Harivansh Rai Bachchan, “Mann ka ho toh accha, Mann ka na ho toh zyada accha”. Which means, if things happen as per our wish then it is good, but if it doesn’t happen as per our wish then it is even better because then it happens as per the wish of the Almighty, who always thinks best for us.

By sticking to the thoughts and continuously sobbing over things “which are not in our control”, we are doing harm to none other than our own self. So, let’s stop disgracing ourselves by thinking in that manner. At least we should respect ourselves and our choice. Let us relish the memorable moments that we spent in this beautiful journey of life and “Let Go” the others.

So now onwards instead of proving that the grapes are sour, let the grapes be enjoyed by those who are destined to do that. I am sure there is another bunch waiting for us to relish. It’s just that we need to identify it, grab it and enjoy.

Live and let others live happily too!

Peyush Jain