“Never take any relationship for granted”. Every now and then, this statement keeps on striking my ears, from all the directions. At times, I even thought that maybe this statement surfaces from the rule book of relationships, which every human being is supposed to mandatorily follow. However, whenever my mind came in sync with the ears, a lot of questions popped up in my head. The questions like, what exactly does taking any relationship for granted means? Whether it is wrong to take relationships for granted? Whether the relationship where we take each other for granted, doesn’t last forever? And the list goes on and on.
In my endeavour of finding the logics behind everything, rather than following it with a closed mind, I started diagnosing my relationships with different people, under different capacity. And finally, after a series of turmoil in my mind, I could come up with the answers to all those questions that once hammered my brain. I hope this blog opens up an altogether different perspective to see our relationships, in the light of “taking them for granted”.
Broadly, relations could be categorized into Blood relations and Non-Blood relations. Blood relations are the inherited ones, which comprise of our parents, siblings and other family members. While Non-Blood relations include friends, husband/wife, colleagues, etcetera. Being a social animal, we humans tend to socialize and build a lot of relationships other than the inherited ones.
Now before analyzing the relationships, let us understand what exactly “taking someone for granted” means. As per my view, if we take someone for granted, it means despite the fact, that we behave good or bad with each other or we have differences in our thoughts/ideology or we may fight or even get hurt because of each other, our core relationship stays intact forever. In spite of all these differences, we will always be standing with each other, especially in our odd times.
Let me make it very clear, that by stating all the above-mentioned points I am not advocating that we should not love each other, we should not care for each other or we should not stay happy with each other. I totally agree that relationship is not about fighting but about love, is not about arguing but is about understanding, is not about hurting but is all about healing. However, at times, we all fight, argue, as well as, hurt each other, but all that is the outcome of “outburst of feelings in that particular moment”. Such incidences never lead us to think or act in a manner that is bad for someone with whom we share a relationship “in a real sense”. In fact, we would be normal with that person in some time.
The first relation that we inherit with our incarnation is with our parents i.e. a parent-child relationship. So I started my analysis with observing and analyzing my relationship with my parents. And thereafter, I analyzed my relationship with my siblings. After analysis of the same, I can say it, loud and clear, without any hesitation and any second thought, that “I always take my relationship with my parents and my siblings for granted”. Shocking is it??? No, it’s not, because I think that my family members could also take me for granted and if I am not mistaken, they do take me for granted, in the same way, as I take them for granted.
So after being very clear in my mind that I take my parents and my siblings for granted, I moved on to analyze my other relationships with my uncle, aunt, cousins, friends, colleague’s, etcetera. I have to admit that, as far as, the relationship with my parents and siblings was concerned, I didn’t take much time to reach the conclusion that I obviously take them for granted. But can the same thing be applied to all the other relationships? Can’t we take all our relationships for granted by default? Well after analyzing my other relationships, I reached on to the conclusion that I can take relationships with some of the people for granted. However, the relationships with all the people could not be taken for granted.
Now, I can sense the obvious question that is churning in everyone’s mind. Why is it that some of the relationships could be taken for granted, while the other relationships could not be taken for granted? The answer to this question lies in the fact that in all those relationships which could not be taken for granted, the missing ingredient is a “BLIND TRUST” between the individuals concerned. Now, what is this blind trust? Blind trust is the faith that emerges over time, on account of our compatibility with a specific person, whom we can blindly trust, irrespective of the circumstances, etcetera. However, blind trust should not be construed as trusting anyone blindly; rather blind trust is a faith that flourishes over a period of time, with the thorough application of mind.
But it does not mean that we don’t share a good relationship with all those whom we don’t blindly trust or that the other person is distrustful. It’s just that we haven’t been able to build the bond that portrays the blind trust between us. Else, we would have the confidence to take our relationship for granted. Also, it doesn’t imply that all such persons would not be there with us in our odd times. It might happen that those whom we took for granted could not be available in our odd times (due to various reasons), and someone known to us whom we never took for granted or even an unknown person will come to our rescue at the time of need.
To sum up the entire write up in one sentence, it could be rightly said that “If we trust a trustworthy person, then indeed we can take them for granted”. Life is simple and beautiful if it is viewed with the trustful eyes. Let’s be trustworthy and work upon building more and more trustful relationships that we can eventually take for granted.